Learning to Posture a Humble Heart in a Judgmental World

Ugghhh was the sound I made when I heard these words: “Learn to accept the fact that there will always be someone judging you.” I have been soaking in all the truths about the love of God and watching Him heal my heart in such incredible ways that I desire to share with the world about my new found freedom in Christ (Luke 4:18). However, I have come to realize not everyone will approve of my journey with Holy Spirit, especially when I try to put words to my experience with the King of Kings knowing that I can’t even fully understand the ways He chooses to pursue me (Psalm 139:7). The idea of accepting that people will judge me, triggers a fear deep within me. I have a heart to share all that God is doing in me but scared of peoples judgments about my journey. In a social media world we have habit of judging people we don’t do relationship with from our own tainted perspective of them and their words (insert feeling misunderstood ). I had not guarded my heart in past relationships so I tend to shy away from vulnerability. I try to find ways to share my process that no one will judge until I realized guarding my heart couldn’t be done with fear but needed to be done with love from (Corinthians 16:4). When it comes to battling a fear of judgment, I have learned that it has nothing to do with the people judging me and everything to do with what is inside my heart that causes me to feel rejected, misunderstood and invalidated. This place is my battlefield, not in the comments or DMs (Ephesians 6:12). The battle is the fear that invades my mind. My heart needs healing and my mind needs TRUTH (Hebrews 4:14-16). In this place, I come to realize that people can never be God and that I often allow people to sit on the judgment seat of my life instead of gifts that point me towards God. We are all on the same journey, dealing with our own insecurities and desperately searching for something tangible to hold on to. When it comes down to it, we are not here to please people, we are here to follow God’s leading (Thessalonians 2:4) and often the reality is the deeper we step out with God, the fewer people come along with us (Mathew 7:14). I am reminded of an old hymn that says “Though none go with me, still I will follow.” So I made a decision to start kicking people out of my judgment room so God can take His rightful place in my life (Romans 8:33) and it has changed the way I do relationship. Before I share more let me tell you what I am not saying. My goal is not to remove every person who has judged me from my life, sometimes you have to do that and that’s okay, it’s actually really healthy especially when someone is continually choosing to violet your boundaries (Proverbs 4:23). In fact I want to encourage that person who feels stuck inside a toxic relationship. You are not required to stay due to time spent. You have a choice and a loving Father who is more than cable of guiding you in your next step (Psalm 23:2). Sometimes are struggles are internal and other times you are just not in a safe environment and it’s our job to go get what’s in our hearts and give them to God for healing, growth and direction. What I am learning to do in relationships is to give space to people to share their beliefs and recognize that when a belief crashes with my belief, it shouldn’t become about proving right and wrong. Crashing belief systems should always take as to God, not the comment section. We have this habit of having to prove how right we are and how wrong other people are. It is important to make your point and communicate (1 Peter 3:15) but if I am really being honest in this area, I have a deep need to be validated and I feel frightened by people with different beliefs than me which then causes me to be lead by fear and not love (Proverbs 16:2). We don’t normally think of pride as a protection mechanism but if we get honest with our hearts, this kind of pride feels so right especially if we can attach a Bible verse to it but it reeks havoc on relationships and our ability to love and be loved well. Here is an awesome thought for you that I have been working to get into my heart: “I can have healthy relationships with people who disagree with me.” Yes, I believe it is possible but it requires healthy boundaries, leaning into humility, letting God be your God and not people, looking within and not out, giving space for people to be who they are and choosing powerfully in and out of relationships. Relationships are gifts but they are also choices and how you choose to steward them is up to you but the best part about it all is that even when it’s messy, we can posture a heart of humility because we don’t have to bare the weight of having to have all the answers (Isaiah 40:28). When someone judges you whether kind or unkind let it take you to scripture, invite the Holy Spirit in to teach you (John 16:13), let go of your own logic and desire to prove them wrong, come to God as that of a child learning for the very first time (Mathew 18:3) and acknowledge that neither of you can fathom His understanding (Romans 11:34). I have found that this place should never be about who is right and who is wrong because we miss out on the only ONE who can truly say He is right (John 14:6). You may learn that you were missing something, that God wants to take you deeper, that both of you have a truth or even that neither of you were understanding truth. Friends, pastors, teachers, counselors and so on were not given to us so we can take the responsibility off of ourselves but so we can accept their guidance, learn from their walk with Christ and always go to God in Spirit and in Truth (John 4:24). Whether you come out agreeing with someone or not isn’t the goal, the goal is to always trust what God reveals to you in the end (Proverbs 3:5).

You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart. – Jeremiah 29:13

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