Rejection experiences carry loads of weight that suppress a heart that was never meant to carry them. Not because someone has chosen out of relationship with us but because we have turned our experiences into a story about who we are. This story is often titled “Once rejected, always rejected.” We live our lives looking for the next person to prove our story to be true and the sad thing is we expect rejection as the outcome every time. As a result we create belief systems centered around the idea that all boyfriends/husbands are rejecters, all girlfriends/wives will leave and now even God wants nothing to do with us. If you relate with rejection you are not alone. I used to believe rejection was my story too but I have good news for you today. Rejection does not have to be your story anymore. This is a small yet vital part of my journey towards freedom.
I tried to straighten up and act right. I put my hope in religion and thought if I could just do better, look a certain way, say the right things, try harder, be nicer and love people harder than just maybe I could slip under the radar and experience love. Perfection promised me a way out of the dungeon yet I felt more chains holding me back. The way out of the dungeon was becoming a cruel prank. Every time I thought I had come close to perfection the stakes were raised and shame would reveal it’s ugly head.
Rejection stood in front of me again, reminding me that I was indeed rejectable and no amount of effort would ever set me free from this awful place. I decided to accept my reality that no matter how hard I tried, I could never attain perfection. I figured my only option was to call out to God. With my head hanging down in shame, He came to me. I couldn’t even look at Him. I was sure that He was shacking His head at the mess I had become. I heard his voice speak to me for the first time as He whispered, “I never meant for you to do any of this on your own.” I lifted my head up and I saw that He had come down to my level. He was looking at me with compassion as I held shattered pieces of glass in my hands. He whispered again to me “I can fix that heart of yours.” With trembling hands I lay each piece at His feet. He came down to my level again, lifted up my head and said with a smile, “Come with me, I will take you out of here.”
He took me to a place where the sun never sets. There He introduced me to the real me He created and healed the most dangerous form a rejection I had endured, the rejection of myself. He lifted me up and cleared my mind of who I thought I had to be for Him. Little by little my perspective of who I expected God to be began to change. He showed me places in my heart where lies were birthed and where religion took me far from Him. He handed me a new heart that was no longer made of glass but of wood. A heart only The Carpenter of Nazareth could have made. He told me to shine and I promised us both that I would never wish myself away again.
With this new hope living inside of me, He taught me to dance. Soon rejection had no place in my life. The lies faded to nothing as God explained that rejection was simply redirection towards the people He had for my life. Men were no longer ALL bad, Women were no longer ALL dramatic and God was NEVER mad at me.
If you’re looking for me to say that rejection has stopped showing up in my life, I am sorry to say that you want find it here. Instead, I offer you a new belief system that causes rejection to lose it’s power. Rejection is not something someone holds over your head. Rejection is actually a reflection of someone else’s heart. Whether that rejection is simply a choice to go in another direction or whether they are responding from their own personal inner struggle, peoples choices DON’T ever have to be a story about you.
Until we dare to believe our true value through the eyes of our Father, we will always accept the lies. We were never meant to live as victims, expecting the next person to do as wrong. We were designed to be filled by Gods grace so when rejection does come, we can offer that same grace to others. It doesn’t mean we don’t need to guard are hearts. In fact, experiencing an intimate relationship with God has given me the power to set boundaries confidently because I am learning to value myself the way He values me. As a result love begins to spill out of me and unto others around me. It’s in this place that I can to learn to fulfill Jesus’s command to love my enemies and prayer for the ones who hurt me. The more I experience the compassion of my Savior, the more I can begin to recognize hurting people in my own life because rejection now redirect my life back to the only ONE cable of filling me up in the first place and that is “Christ in me, the hope of Glory.”